Aren’t we always seeking sympathy or approval? If we are not being loved and accepted, than at the very least we desire sympathy for the things we cannot control. Our lives are simply the narratives we create for ourselves, yet we need one another to validate them.
I’m exploring my own battle with human nature. My own as well as yours. I’ve been wrestling with my own imperfections while trying to calculate just how much of yours I’m supposed to tolerate. I’ve not been very kind to myself in the past, and I am creating a new world where I let all my (for lack of a better word) failures be lessons. I’m trying to give that grace to you too.
The problem is, I do not know where exactly to draw the line between graciousness and ferocity. I am a warrior, but I want to be a kind and fair warrior. I am drawing and redrawing the line between what I will allow and what I must stand against. This territory feels weird and raw and wild.
I have been singing this song to myself for years now, and I think I’m finally starting to get it.
I think I understand human nature
I’ve told lies to protect myself from danger
We hold flags to Hide what's underneath
We use bullets when our words are weak
We all rise from the same fire.
The fire of joy and turmoil that is our existence.
We must learn to forgive, but not to the extent of allowing atrocity to continue.
It’s a difficult dance.
It’s taken me a long time to get here, but the smoke is starting to clear.